You know that time when you had that problem and you did that thing and it DIDN’T work. And then that other time when you had another problem and you did that same thing and it STILL DIDN’T work…well let me let you in on a little secret..shh * you don’t have to do the same thing this time.* Nope. You don’t have to handle things the same way. You don’t have to be the person that you were before or do the things that you did before.
You know what’s great about life; you have the power to choose. YOU CAN CHOOSE TO REACT DIFFERENTLY THIS TIME. Yep, no if, and or buts about it, the power is all yours.
All joking aside, this was a huge realization for me and it took hearing it from a few different people for it to really sink in.(repetition is my friend!) In the past week I have resorted to my old way of handling things. You know the way that has NEVER worked. Part of it is because it seemed easier at the time, but the other part was because it was what I have always done. In times of stress or doubt, I have always isolated myself, turned to the eating disorder and blocked everyone else out. (Including myself and feelings) Sometimes this was what I needed to do to get by and it worked for the time being but and it’s a big but, this isn’t the case anymore. Not only am I surrounded by an amazing support system, but I have the strength, tools and knowledge to work through things. I don’t need to handle things like I have in the past. I don’t need to be the person that I thought I was. Hell, I don’t need to do anything if I don’t want to. Praise the lord; I can try something different this time.
We all have the power to choose. When something isn’t working for us, we can try something different. If that doesn’t work, we can try something else. Patterns and routines are great, but why continue doing something that isn’t working just because it’s what we are used to.
This may seem like a really obvious thing to you or like a stupid post, but it’s been the most freeing realization for me. I easily get sucked into the notion that I have to do things how I have done in the past. And you know what? That is complete BS. I don’t have much power or control over the things that go on around me, but I am 100% in control of how I choose to handle them and how they affect me. Choice is a wonderful thing.
Trying something new can be scary. Opening up to people about my struggles, even in writing this blog has been challenging. Voicing my concerns, asking for help, letting people help me and even eating regularly is not my norm. All of these things are the exact opposite of what I normally do in stressful situations. Overall, it’s a completely different approach to how I usually handle things. But as much as I hate to admit it, it’s working better than my old ways.
Changing things up has been difficult, as has letting go of the person that I thought I was. Breaking habits are really really hard, especially when you have been doing them for most of your life, but that doesn’t mean that it can’t be done. We all have the power to choose. If something isn’t working for you try something different, reach out and get another persons perspective and opinion. For me, learning that I have the power to choose and that I have people standing by me to guide me during these decisions has made a really big difference.It's not easy and is still a work in progress, but it's a start.