Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Growing a spine

We teach people how to treat us. When we say no, they listen. When we set boundaries, they follow. And when we don’t, they usually don’t. 

I used to let people walk all over me. I would back down from a conversation to avoid an argument or would give in because I didn’t think it was worth my time. What I was really saying was that I wasn’t worth the time. I wasn’t worth the argument and that I didn’t have opinions or more so that what I had to say didn’t matter.

IT DOES, AS DO I!. And I really do believe that. I am worth the time and space and so are you. 

I used to get upset that I would have the same conversations over and over again or constantly found myself in situations that I didn’t approve of or was doing things for other people that I wasn’t ok with. I had a million explanations excuses and plenty of other people to blame. Some of those people deserve some of the blame, but not all of it. 

We all have a voice, so use it. Speak up for yourself. If you don’t like how someone is treating you, tell them. If they don’t listen, run for the hills. Or don’t. But don’t spend another day thinking that you deserve to be treated that way. 

If you want something in life, go for it. Don’t let anyone or anything get in your way. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, but that doesn’t mean that you have to listen to it. Everyone also includes you.

You can’t expect things to change if you don’t make the first move. If you want people to talk to you differently, tell them so and show them what that entails. If they aren’t happy, well now that makes two of you. Set consequences and follow through. Idle threats just continue the cycle.

If you want someone to give you their time, show them that you are worth their time. You have to believe it yourself if you want anyone else to take you seriously. 

Overall, just remember that it’s all up to you. The ball is always in your court. You can’t change other people but you can change how they treat and interact with you. And it is your God given right to do so. Oh yeah, also remember that you are a wonderful, awesome, beautiful human being that is completely worth the time and effort. 

Apparently I turn into a self help book when I am lacking coffee. Maybe I should have given it up years ago.

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