Friday, August 17, 2012
Today marks being engaged to John for 5 months. Soon enough we will be celebrating our 1 year anniversary, followed by starting a new chapter of our life by getting married.
Being close to someone who is in recovery from an eating disorder isn't easy, especially when they are your girlfriend/fiance/wife. Although we have only officially been together for a little under a year, our relationship has been through a lot. Less than a month before we officially began dating I entered treatment for anorexia. Ever since then it's been quite the roller coaster ride, yet John has never asked to get off.
Although I try to keep a positive, optimistic outlook on my blog, some days I am not like that. In recovery there have been many days where I have just felt completely hopeless and temporarily given up on myself. On those days, John reminds me that I can do this, that together WE can do this and that WE will overcome this. Through all of the tears, and there have been many, he has and continues to listen, support me and when everything else fails, make me laugh. We have both found that after food laughter seems to be the best medicine and thankfully enough John has quite the sense of humor.
He is patient, kind, gentle, understanding and the most caring person I know. He makes me feel special and smile, even though some of the most difficult times. He has gone to appointments with me, sat through countless meals and even eaten at the same restaurants over and over again without complaint. He has seen the worst, yet continues to bring out the best in me. He reminds me every day that I am loved no matter what.
Unfortunately, given my eating disorder history, our first year together has been marked by a lot of very low points; hospital visits, countless temper tantrums, tears and the occasional argument. But each day we have grown stronger. This battle has made us both grow in ways that we never thought were possible. Our relationship is different; deeper, stronger and better that I ever imagined. The bad times make the good times even more amazing and I am grateful for all of the happy moments and time that we get to spend together. It hasn't been easy and I know that I don't give enough credit to John.
So this post is for him, for us and for everything that is yet to come. It isn't easy but it's completely worth it.