Wednesday, October 17, 2012

No Brainer

What recovery has given me: a life, an amazing relationship with my fiance, growing friendships with my coworkers, renewed relationships with family and friends, a fulfilling job that I look forward to everyday, the energy and passion to help others, the drive and desire to make a difference, the ability to laugh, love and be myself, among numerous other things

What anorexia has given me: a smaller body

Do I like that I am gaining weight? No. Do I enjoy how my body is changing? No. Is letting go of having a smaller body and everything related easy? No. Would I trade any of the good things I mentioned above for having a smaller body? No fucking way.

I haven't always felt this sure. Although anorexia has had many other benefits in my life in the past, currently this isn't the case. To be honest, right now I really hate my body. Each time I shower or look in the mirror I sigh in disgust. However this is one of the first times in my life where I won't even hesitate to say that recovery is worth it. It's worth every pound gained. No matter how appealing being thin sounds, I have way too much to lose. Anorexia wasn't my choice, but recovery is and it really is a no brainer.

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